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Company claims ownership of star constellation

A recent acquisition of the Orion constellation leads to empty pockets from photographers and sky gazers around the globe.

02 July 2020 21:18

A copyright catastrophe

The constellation once gazed freely upon by Ancient Greeks has been claimed as intellectual property by the telescope and equipment manufacturer Orion Utility Group. They claim that the sequence of stars belongs to them due to the CEO being a supposed descendant of an Ancient Greek artist who created what is currently the oldest known engraving of the mythical huntsman.

It's rightfully our property, and anyone who would like to dispute our claim is free to contact our support number.

OUG Representative

Any image or other media containing the Orion constellation now must pay OUG a fee for distributing their property, many creators who create content based on showcasing the many constellations of the night sky are now cautious not to point their telescopes in the general direction of Orion.

I just try to avoid looking south-east when I'm taking pictures unless I'm in the southern hemisphere, where it's south-west. No, wait, I think it's the other way round, or is it north? I can't remember.

Skye "Gazer" Marks, Star Photographer

Dark images, darker deals

Some individuals and groups, however, are still not giving up on the view of the celestial sight for free, and are actively distributing the illegal images and media containing the constellation through the dark web.

In other news, a viral online petition to rename the Big Dipper to "Funny Looking Pan" has received over two hundred million signatures.

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